Don't Let Me Know
by NotSoSecretFangirl
Summary: AU: Now that things are going well for Team Arrow is Felicity really fine with just being the "Girl Wednesday"? (Title inspired by "Don't Let Me Know" by Katharine McPhee and Jeremy Jordan from Smash)


**A/N: I apologize in advance for the amount of angst in this fanfic. However, I feel like that this is a very real aspect of Olicity that isn't often explored.**

**Arrow and its characters belong to The CW, Greg Berlanti, and DC Comics.**

* * *

_Don't let me know if it hurts  
If it hurts you  
I don't want to be your friend that you turn to  
That you won't pull me close  
But you can't let me go  
Don't let me know  
"Don't Let Me Know" by Katharine McPhee & Jeremy Jordan_

* * *

Felicity realized it had now been six months since Diggle and her had brought Oliver home from Lian Yu, and well over a year since a certain young billionaire came into her office with lame excuses and a far too charming smile. So much had happened since then.

Things were finally looking up for Team Arrow. They had gained two extra members, Roy Harper and Det. Lance, who helped a great deal even if they didn't know The Arrow was Oliver Queen. Even with the new members, Felicity, Diggle, and Oliver had only grown closer. Just like he had said so long ago, Oliver was the one person she could confide in, ramble and vent about her life, whether it her day was mundane or life-threatening. They had helped each other deal with the guilt they shared for not being able to stop Malcolm Merlyn's second seismic device and prevent the massive devastation it had caused. They had helped each other heal. After some missions he'd be there to talk her through the shock, like the first time she had ever shot someone, and then sometimes he'd be a silent support because sometime you lose and there aren't really words to describe how you feel after. Words weren't necessary. Sometimes they would go back to her place and watch a movie to take the edge off, other times it would just be a stroke across the arm and a nod in understanding. Likewise, Oliver was comfortable enough with her that he had opened up to her about his experiences with Shado and Slade, but she was also aware of the days that where those 5 years in hell haunted him and the support he needed was silence or being distracted by her innocuous ramblings which would almost always bring out a smile in him. She had seen his real smile, not the Ollie Queen playboy smile or the CEO of Queen Consolidated photo-op smile, but Oliver's genuine smile- _her_ smile.

They had grown far too close for it to simply be described that she had a crush on him. They'd been there together for some of each other's darkest moments and had brought light from that. It wasn't just attraction. Sure, she still loved watching him train on the salmon ladder, and the chemistry was palpable every time that they had sparred together. They shared a level of emotional intimacy with each other that made her feelings so much more than a fangirl crush. She loved him. However, it was his move now. She knew that he knew she had feelings for him, while she may be a genius at hacking she could use a lot of work in being subtle. She felt like there had to be something there. They had shared many close calls where they were so close to crossing that line defining their relationship. She still remembered their almost kiss when she was tending to his injuries after Oliver and Diggle's final battle with Deadshot last month. Things had been a bit awkward since then which just made her whole life awkward since they worked two jobs together side by side. There were times that he still needed her silent support or a pleasant platonic distraction, but most of their outside-of work conversations lacked most of the depth they had before. She had missed it. A part of her worried that this new phase in there relationship was where they were going to remain, but she had to hope for me. He was too much of her world for it not be.

Now that Diggle had gotten closure since they had taken out Deadshot, he and Carly had gotten back together and were now engaged. Felicity was going to confront Oliver about his recent behavior tonight at Diggle and Carly's engagement party. She had already texted Felicity that she really needed to talk to him tonight. She knew this conversation was going to change things, but it needed to happen. She knew he had a lot of baggage, but she was ready to support him as something more just as she had as his friend. However, Felicity didn't put a certain kind of baggage in her calculations: Laurel Lance. Oliver's seemingly perfect paragon of beauty and virtue who was holding onto Oliver's arm as they entered the party. As her heart began to sink, she was planning on making a clean exit, but Oliver had spotted her just as she was about to escape. He whispered something in Laurel's ear and began walking towards her.

"Felicity!" Oliver greeted her with _her_ smile. She couldn't take seeing him with Laurel but giving her the real smile she had only seen between the two of knew her face said everything. Consequently, his face became more serious and concerned as he whispered, "You said you wanted to talk about something? It sounded important."

"It doesn't matter anymore." She said hurriedly. "Oliver, I have to go." And with that she walked away as fast as her heels would take her.

Even once she got back to her place, Felicity was trying to keep her tears at bay. So she decided to spend her Saturday night the way she did before she got invovled with vigilante justice and complex but charming billionaires. She was going to have a date night with three men who would never let her down: Ben, Jerry, and The Doctor. She chose a random episode of Doctor Who, but Martha Jones' plight seemed a bit too similar for her own to really be an escape. Felcity's tears finally began to fall as she listened to Martha was bid her farewell to the Doctor:

_"He never looked at her twice. I mean he liked her. That was it. And she wasted years pining after him. Years of her life. 'Cause while he was around she never looked at anyone else. And I told her, I always said to her, time and time again, I said, "Get out.' So this is me, getting out."_

As the tears fell down her face, Felicity began to wonder if it was time for her too get out as well before it was too late.


End file.
